


Our Pounding Hearts

by Haikygyuu



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Character Death, Childhood, Fate & Destiny, First Love, Heart Disease, Ilness, Loss, Love Confessions, M/M, Meant To Be, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:07:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24590527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Haikygyuu/pseuds/Haikygyuu
Summary: Beomgyu was born with a heart disease. Unfortunately, in the world he lives in, you and your soulmate dies at the exact same time.Taehyun always tried to prepare himself, but how can they face death when they never told that they loved each other ?-Please stay a little longer, hyung.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Kang Taehyun, Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Comments: 14
Kudos: 49





	Our Pounding Hearts

Beomgyu always loved this feeling of warmth whenever he was around him. He always loved how he could comfortably lay on his lap without him saying anything, or how he gently and delicately brushed his hair with his hand, waiting for him to fall asleep. He loved how soft his touch was whenever his fingers were wandering around his skin, losing themselves in his chin, then his neck making him feel those nice and relaxing chills everytime. He loved how he touched him as if he was the most fragile thing on earth. Beomgyu just... loved him. Yet, he never told him.

The sun was kissing his pale skin, a soft breeze floating around them, the birds cutely singing as he was laying on his soulmate's lap, both sitting on a bench in the park they always used to hang out at. Beomgyu smiled, "his soulmate" he thought.  
He closed his eyes,on the verge of falling asleep, and allowed himself to get lost in his thoughts, remembering the day his mother told him the story about this weird world he lives in, or the day he met the red haired boy for the first time and he knew. He knew it was him. He still remembers it perfectly, from how his mother was dressed with this cute white skirt she loved so much, or how sparkly her eyes were when she was talking to him. He even remembers the smell of disinfectant that was floating in his room when he was a child. 

That day, it was Beomgyu's birthday. He was finally turning 8 and as always since he was born, he was stuck in his room, dreaming about the possibility of going outside to play in the park and meet someone, maybe make some new friends. The little boy never met anyone aside from his family, and his doctor before, but it was alright, he didn’t mind that much as a child because he was dying anyways. His heart wasn't functioning well like his brother's or the other's, it was capricious, selfish , stubborn, and a bit rusted. He couldn't swim in the water, run with his brother while playing tag, or just climb up the stairs alone at that time because his heart was too weak. The black haired kid was looking at the window, watching birds flying from a tree to another, a woman taking his cute dog on a walk, and a young couple lying on the grass. " It's so green" he thought, "so pretty", while his eyes were sparkling, his cheeks turning into a cute shade of pink. Beomgyu always loved pretty things. His mom entered his room with a cake, wishing a happy birthday to her most precious son and the little boy smiled brightly, happy. He couldn't play outside, but it didn't mattered as long as he had his mother by his side, she was his best friend, and she always agreed to play with him or tell him stories before he go to sleep. Yeah at that time, he loved his mom so much.

"Come here, gyu", she said, patting on his bed.

The little boy reached to her, and she helped him climb the bed, before tucking him cutely and warmly inside the sheets.

"Happy Birthday, my baby", she softly told him while kissing him on the forehead.

"Thanks, mom", Beomgyu giggled. 

"Do you want me to tell you a special story for your birthday ?" she asked.

"Yeah !" he nodded, his eyes sparkling as he got excited, he loved when his mom told him stories, even more when they were special ones. "Okay" she answered. He was intensely staring at her, hugging his favorite plushie, waiting for her to start.

"Did I ever told you that you were born in a very special world, gyu ?" his mother started. The little boy's eyes widened, and he opened his mouth, shaking his head. "You were born in a very beautiful and sensitive world, but also a very cruel one, sweetie. Have you ever heard about soulmates ?"

Beomgyu furrowed his small eyebrows, and shook his head again, curious and intrigued now. "Nah, what is it mom ?" he asked.

"Your soulmate is the person in this world who was born with the other half of your heart. Your heart and their heart are linked and sealed with each other. It's also someone that will hold your hand and walk with you in darkness, the person that will fill the hole you're constantly feeling deep down in your heart." "It's the person that will share your life from its very start until it comes to its end. It's someone you will love so much that you'll never be able to live the same after you met them, someone that will help you to overcome all the hardships in your life. It's a really special someone that will become your safe place, your home, and your peace during the moments you'll be in a silent war with yourself".

The young boy was listening carefully, nodding non stop, always waiting for more. When his mother finished, he kept silent and cutely furrowed his eyebrows, thinking about something. 

" Is my heart not working 'cause my soulmate don't wanna meet me ?" he asked, "If they are someone with the other half of it, why don't they meet me so it can work just like yours ?" “ Is my soulmate also sick ? Or are they gonna heal me ?” "What if they don't want to fall in love with me ?"

Beomgyu's mother smiled softly, now holding her son in her arms, gently patting and playing with his soft black hair. "You don't have the choice but to fall in love with this person, it's not something you can decide, nor control in this world, Beomgyu." "I think that having the chance to live in a world in which you can spend the rest of your days with your soulmate is a really beautiful thing, sweetheart. You don't have to worry about finding them soon, when you'll find them, you'll know".

"Then why did you mentioned that it was cruel ?" Beomgyu asked, his eyes starting to shut as he was feeling tired, warm and comfortable in his mom's embrace.

" Because, when you'll come to your death breath, your soulmate will also leave this world with you and follow you in heaven". She confessed. "Once they meet, one can't live without the other".

Beomgyu didn't say a word afterwards, pretending to be asleep, because he didn't wanted to cry in his mom's arms. When she finally closed the door and the boy was alone in his room, he broke down. He was sad, ashamed and guilty ,because he was going to cause his soulmate's death so soon. Maybe before he even meet him. If he was about to die from his illness, then it meant that his soulmate would die too. The tears were running down his round face, and his heart started to race and hurt while he was sobbing, making the whole thing even more difficult to acknowledge.

"What are you thinking about so loud, Gyu ?" "I can hear you thinking from here".

When he opened his teary eyes again, he lost his gaze into taehyun's, his heart squeezing at how pretty the view was from here.  
The boy furrowed his eyebrows, and instantly put his hand on Beomgyu's chest, checking his heartbeat. 

"Why are you crying ? Does it hurts ? Can you breathe well ?" he asked, wiping off his soulmate's tears with his sweater paws. Beomgyu shook his head, and nuzzled his face into taehyun's waist, closing his eyes again, taking in this familiar scent of washing he loved so much. He was tired, so tired. 

"It's nothing". He said, hoping the boy wouldn't ask further questions, but as always, taehyun's anxiety got the upper hand and he just couldn't help it.

"What are you thinking about so loud, then ? I swear that I can hear your brain thinking from here. And why are you crying ?” 

"I was thinking about the day I met you".

The boy didn't respond, and just kept on playing with Beomgyu's hair, his right hand still checking on his heartbeat to make sure everything was okay. Taehyun was used to it now. He knew how his entire world could change dramatically from one day to another, how he could lost everything he had each minute that passed through the day. He knew that neither him or Beomgyu would be able to escape the tragic end that they were destined to live. And he was scared. Each minute, each hours, of each days. He was so scared to lose him that he always forgot he was also going to die, when the time would come. His heart wasn't sick, but it hurted so much to see the one he loved dying a little bit more every day that Taehyun wondered if he wasn't the one with an illness. How was it possible for him to love a person this much ? He'll never have a proper answer to that question, but he was fine with it, as long as it was Beomgyu. 

Taehyun gently ruffled gyu's hair, helping him to fall asleep after the all nighter they put the night before, losing himself in his memories. It was the first day of June, the sun shining so bright that day that he couldn't fight the urge to go out and play in the grass with his little sister in front of the tiny house they moved in a few days ago. His little sister was overexcited, screaming and laughing while they were playing tag with other kids in the neighborhood, but Taehyun was feeling weird. 

He started to feel hot and breathless, his throat slowly going dry, his heart starting to race as he was looking everywhere, not to find any of his new friends, but he was looking for something. He didn't know what he was looking for, maybe it was someone, or something. It could be a sound, a picture, a person, or a place, but it was near him, he felt it deep within his heart. He left his sister with the other kids, telling her that he’ll come back to her soon, and started to run, as fast as he could, he ran so much that his lungs were screaming, his legs shaking, but he only stopped when his muscles couldn't take it anymore.  
Taehyun fell down on the ground, spraining his ankle in the same time. His clothes were dirty now, and his eyes started to tear up as we was looking at the small scratches on his hands. 

"Ngh", the little boy started to wipe his tears off with his sleeves; his mother was going to get mad at him for getting his brand new clothes dirty for sure.

"Are you okay" ? he heard. And he froze up. His heart stopped. He stopped breathing. Taehyun knew, he immediately knew it was that person, he knew that finally, his other half showed up. But he was scared, so scared that he couldn't muster the courage to lift his head up and take a proper look at who his soulmate was. The small boy waited for so long to meet them, hearing stories about his parents meeting each other, hoping that every day would be the day, that now that he was facing it, he was freaking out. Taehyun was 11 years old now, he was a grown-up, and thought that he was ready, he thought that he prepared himself enough, when in fact, he did not. At all. He felt the person approaching slowly behind him, and felt his body shaking, his heart racing, his cheeks and ears burning. He was thirsty, throat dry, finding it hard to breathe again while the stranger came nearer and nearer each second. He was losing it. Taehyun could see his feet now, cute white vans perfectly laced up, and he realized, at the size of the shoes, the voice and by the outfit, that his soulmate was... a guy ?

"Hey, huh i saw you trip and fall down while i was looking through my window, are you okay ? Are you maybe hurt somewhere ?" he asked with a soft and smooth voice that caressed Taehyun's ears. 

Finally, the boy lifted his head up, meeting the stranger's gaze for the very first time of his life, finding himself not wanting to let go ever again. Saying that the boy was pretty would've been a lie, he was so gorgeous that Taehyun needed to pinch himself to realize he was a true human being. He took his time, admiring every bit of the dark-haired guy, from his head to his toes. Sharp-faced, bushy black eyebrows, pulpy and attractive lips, but what kept Taehyun mesmerized were his eyes. The stranger's eyes were fascinating, it was just like once you had met his expressive gaze, you couldn't escape anymore, like you were trapped under a curse. But he wasn't complaining at all. 

The two of them stayed like this for a while, only staring at each other, red cheeks, mouth slightly opened, unable to say a word, both captivated by the other. It was as if the world stopped spinning, as if time stopped, as if everything they've done until now finally had a meaning, as if they finally started to live. It was as if something was always missing before they met each other, but they were only realizing it now. The blacked hair guy was bright red, running his hand through his hair, now a bit awkward and uncomfortable, probably in the same state as the younger, not knowing how to start a conversation with Taehyun.  
"Huh, hey " he tried despite his shyness.

Taehyun smiled hearing his voice again, and tried to stand up to answer him properly, but he had a hard time faking it when in fact, his ankle was so painful that he wanted to cry. Today again, he still remembers how Beomgyu carried him on his back all the way to his home even if at that time, he definitely shouldn't have, and took care of him until his parents came to pick him up. He still remembers the soft look gyu's mom's had when she first laid her eyes on him, and she knew. He still remembers how, after that, they met in front of Gyu's house everyday as he couldn't go outside that much, gyu telling him about his disease, them talking about their dreams and what they loved, watching videos in Gyu's room, sleeping over on Weekends, cuddling in the bed when they woke up. He still remembers the first time his soulmate was allowed to go outside without his parents around, his heart finally strong enough for him to play in the park, go to the sea, or to finally start going to school like a normal kid. Starting that day, Taehyun felt the urge to protect him from every possible danger, every possible bully, or every little thing that could ever hurt him in any ways. He was always there for him, and he would forever be, until the day they die.

Slowly, as the time passed by, Taehyun fell in love with Beomgyu. Well, he loved him from the start, but he was just more aware of his feelings now, overwhelmed every time his other half was around, nervous about every word he said, scared to look stupid and idiotic. 

He knew that they were destined to love each other, yet he was scared to love him, because he knew he was going to lose him one day or another.  
Beomgyu was asleep now, his head resting on taehyun's thighs, his dark hair covering his eyes, and his lips slightly opened as he finally breathed regularly. Taking advantage of his soulmate's sleep, he kissed him softly on the forehead, staying like this a bit longer than usual, falling deeper for him again. When would he have the guts to tell him how much he loved him ?

Beomgyu was hot. Too hot. When he finally opened his eyes, he immediately found himself in Taehyun's arms, laying on his bed, the younger one still fast asleep. His head was resting on Beomgyu's shoulder, his arms tightly locked around his tiny waist. Nothing in the world would have ever convince him to move away from Taehyun's arms. When he was in his arms, he felt home, it was as if his arms were made for holding him. He stayed like this despite the fact that he was hot, watching the younger sleeping for almost an hour before he finally woke up, slowly surfacing and blinking to adjust his eyes to the brightness of the room. 

« Hi sleeping beauty »

Taehyun smiled, then pulled Beomgyu closer to him, nuzzling his head and pressing his lips in his neck. He liked being in Beomgyu's arms so much that he wanted to stay like this all day long. Beomgyu lifted a hand to gently caress Taehyun's hair, cheeks and finally went to his bottom lip. He kept staring at taehyun's attractive lips, finding himself in the urge to kiss him. He always wanted to kiss Taehyun so bad, whenever the boy looked at him with this expression that screamed ' i love you', or whenever his face was a bit too close to his.

He wanted to kiss him, he wanted their lips to meet, yet never mustered the courage to do so, to finally cross the line with him. Beomgyu didn’t move, captivated by the boy’s features and at how pretty he was. Today again, he was a coward. 

"Stop calling me that" taehyun giggled.

"No, you're pretty". 

There it was, taehyun's cute little blush appearing whenever Beomgyu complimented him, going from his cheeks to the edge of his small ears. Gosh, he was so cute. 

« Did you carry me all the way to your house yesterday ? »

Taehyun nodded, his face back into the older's neck, the only place where he felt the best.

« You didn't have to, you could've just woke me up hyun ».

« You were tired ».

Beomgyu didn't try to deny nor to argue so early in the morning, so he just whispered a small "Thank you", and held Taehyun tightly in his arms, focusing on his now shaky breath.

"Your birthday is in two weeks. I want it to be special, hyung". Taehyun shyly confessed.

Beomgyu startled and tensed hearing the one he loved mentioning about his birthday. Because deep within his soul, he knew. He knew that his 21st birthday would be his last one. He knew he'll be gone before he could turn 22, graduate from university or before he could get his driving licence. He knew that he'll be gone before the end of the year, and as his heart slowly started to die, he knew that he'll be gone in a few weeks, maybe days. And it hurted him. Not because he was scared, or because it was painful, but because he was going to kill Taehyun. How could he put an end to his life when the boy had still so many things to accomplish ? How could he kill Taehyun when he only deserved to be the happiest person on earth ? And how could Taehyun die from something he didn't ask for ? Beomgyu had a lump in his throat, feeling sorrowful, dejected and guilty. 

How could could he love Taehyun that much when he was going to put an end to his life ? 

"Do you want it to be special 'cause it will be my last one ?" he asked, his voice betraying the sadness he was desperately trying to hide. 

Taehyun flinched, and hugged Beomgyu closer. 

"Hyung.."

"It's okay. We both know it, Hyun". 

The younger remained silent in Beomgyu's arms, unable to say a word, too scared to break down if he did. Because deep inside, even if he refused to admit it, Taehyun knew it too. And he couldn't break down in front of Beomgyu when he wasn't the one with an illness to being with. The two of them stayed like this, holding the other as if he was about to drift apart anytime, the silence saying more than every word they knew, their breath finally matching. 

"I want to go to the sea". Beomgyu whispered. 

Beomgyu really wanted to go back to the ocean so bad, yet his mother never allowed him to go that far from his house since his heart started to worsen again a few years ago. It was the first place Taehyun brought him to when he was finally free from his room, finally allowed to venture into the outside world. He wanted it to be the first and last place they hung out. 

The black haired boy closed his eyes, and focused on his breath, trying to ignore his heart beating faster and faster, until he couldn't bear it anymore. Beomgyu was used to it, as he was born like this, but he couldn't help being surprised at how it was more and more painful each day that passed. He choked, and placed his hand on his chest, scared at how his heart was pounding so fast. He was hot, yes, he was suffocating. He tried, he deeply tried to focus, he tried to keep his breathing steady, tried to picture himself in a peaceful and quiet place, like the ocean, just as his doctor told him to. But it didn't work the way it was supposed to. He just ended getting more anxious realizing that his daily method wasn't working anymore, and he started coughing, shaking and tearing up, trying to get away from Taehyun's embrace, his body feeling heavy. But the younger boy held him back tightly, wrapping his arms around his waist, and laying his chin on his shoulder.

" I'm here, hyung. Breathe, it's gonna be okay".

"Please breathe, Beomgyu, i beg you, breathe. I'm here, i'll always be here". 

"You're doing amazing, hyung, okay just like that, relax".

Beomgyu let his body lay on taehyun's, placing his head on his shoulder, his heart finally calming down, his breath still unstable after the crisis.

"It's okay, i'll take you to the ocean, hyung". Taehyun whispered next to him, holding him so tight that he was almost suffocating again. "We'll go there together, okay ?".

But his days were counted now.

They spent the day cuddling in Taehyun's bed and watching dramas, Beomgyu enjoying this small break from all the anxiousness he had before his doctor appointment later in the night. He loved to spend his days like this, doing nothing that special but little things that brought him a small but certain happiness.  
" Are you sure you don't want me to come with you ?" Taehyun asked, standing in the doorway, an obvious trail of worry in his round and sensitive eyes.

"I am, Tae. I don't want you to hear that shit anyways". 

"Bu-"

" There's no buts, Taehyun. I'm going alone". 

Taehyun didn't insist, knowing that Beomgyu was already irritated and nervous about this cursed weekly appointment with his doctor. He was acting like that every week, but Beomgyu seemed to be more tense today, maybe still a bit startled after the crisis he had a few hours ago. So, he just stood there, looking down at his feet, nodding and whispering a little "Okay I understand" before he finally closed the door. When he was finally alone, he went to lock himself in his bathroom, and he finally let out the tears he was holding back since so long ago. He broke down, he cried, sobbed, and even threw up from all the anxiousness he gathered inside these previous weeks.  
He wasn't ready to say goodbye yet, he wasn't prepared to die, and giving up on all the dreams he still had to accomplish. He wanted to build a future with Beomgyu, he wanted them to graduate, then move in together in a cute place near the ocean his soulmate loved so much. He wanted to build a family in the future, he wanted to give him his first kiss, he wanted to tell him he loved him. Yet he wouldn't be able to accomplish half of his wishes and this is what gutted him the most. He refused to be delusional about his future, but he didn’t want to face the reality yet either. 

" A month. Maybe a bit more if you're strong enough, but it could be less if you keep on messing around and going outside, Beomgyu". “ Your recent crisis are really alarming and worrying, you shouldn’t feel so much pain at this state of the illness, it’s not something to joke about, kid. I think I may need to study about it a bit further, maybe you should take some tests in the following days just to make sure it’s not even worse than what it seems”. “Oh and, please take these pills, every four hours starting today, it should ease the pain a bit when you’re in a crisis. I know it’s just another one to add to this huge collection of meds of yours, but it’s really important, Beomgyu.”

The boy always imagined this exact moment since he was a child, and yet, he was still surprised at how different it was from what his imagination told him. There he was, the familiar smell of disinfectant floating in the room, put under a life-support system, breathing well thanks to the medical equipment, listening to the doctor telling him his days were counted. His mother was sitting next to him, softly ruffling his hair, starting to sob right after the doctor's announcement. He hated to see his mother suffering from his illness, yet he couldn't help himself from contradicting the old man.

"There's no way I'm spending my last days locked in this fucking room" he answered. 

"Beomgyu, stop acting like a child". His mother angrily furrowed her eyebrows, looking hurt and worried at her son’s words.

" Like a child ? Are you kidding me ? Did you expect to nurse me like a baby until my last breath because you’re so sad you couldn’t have another child after me and my rusted heart ? Do you really expect me to stay put and watch me die a bit more everyday when I could go outside, maybe travel with Taehyun before killing us both ? Do you fucking expect me to stay locked in this cursed room when I could enjoy being in my soulmate's arms for the last time ? And do you expect me to stay locked in my house just to extend my lifetime when I'll die, no matter what I’ll try anyways ? A month, two weeks or three days, I don't give a fuck about that anymore ! I'm dying mom ! Your son is dying, can you please, stop being selfish ? Can you maybe, for the first time in your life think about me, think about how I feel since I’m born in this shitty world ? I'll go outside, mom. I'll go to Taehyun's arms, because that's the only place I belong to." 

Beomgyu was revolted, infuriated, sad, and he tried not to show it, but he was scared. He was damn scared inside. His life was coming to its end, and he wondered how he would have the guts to announce Taehyun that they were going to die in a few days ? How was he supposed to react at this ? He gritted his teeth, trying to calm down a little, his head resting on his pillow, his body feeling heavy. He never was the rebellious type of kid, but the more he was growing up, the more he felt captivated and overwhelmed by all what his mother prohibited him to do, and he was always infuriated at how this damn world was functioning.

" I'm tired, I need to sleep". 

Beomgyu closed his eyes, turned his head, now facing the wall, and waited for the doc and his mom to leave the room, cursing about his life and his fucking disease. Once they were both out of the room, he waited for a few minutes until he heard the doctor leave his house and his mom locking herself in her room, then took off the medical equipment which helped him breathing, quickly grabbed the first bag he could find in his closet and packed a few shirts, a pair of jeans, his charger and his phone. 

His heart started to race while he slowly tiptoed towards the window he spent so much time looking through , and finally, opened it. Beomgyu was about to do something crazy, something stupid, and he knew it was selfish of him to act like that, yet, he took a deep breath, and finally, he left home. He refused to think back, scared to regret was he was doing, scared to go back in this cursed bed for days and scared to disappoint his mother. He quietly closed the window, adjusted his backpack, and took the first step to the first day of the rest of his life. He wasn’t scared anymore, he wasn’t mad, or sad, he felt more… excited, walking, almost running towards Taehyun’s house, confident the younger would definitely follow him in their first and last wild ride on earth.

When he reached Taehyun’s home, he first tried to call the boy on his phone, hoping he wasn’t asleep yet, but Taehyun always used to go to bed way earlier than Beomgyu so he wasn’t surprised when his soulmate didn’t answer any of his calls. Beomgyu then decided to softly knock on Taehyun’s window, trying to wake the boy up without scaring him,and waited for a few minutes, sitting in the dark, the moon as his only source of light in the street. He was about to think back on his decision, he was about to maybe, go back to his room and try to leave tomorrow instead, when he heard a noise right above his head. When he lifted his head up, his eyes met Taehyun’s and he smiled at how surprised and astounded he looked, unsure about how he should react. It wasn’t the first time Beomgyu unexpectedly showed up at his house so late in the night, the two going for a walk in the park at night so that Beomgyu’s mom didn’t know he went outside, or just to play some video games in Taehyun’s room when the black haired boy was bored. Even if Taehyun was dead tired, he always enjoyed Beomgyu’s company at night, whenever they were together in the dark and quiet night, while everyone was asleep, it felt like their own special moment. 

But when Taehyun saw the one he loved so much having this hurt look on his face, gripping his bag so hard that his hands were white, the blood almost not circulating in his hands anymore, a feeling of anxiety took over him. What the hell was he doing here this late ? 

“ Gyu ? What’s happening ?”

“Let’s leave”. 

“ Huh ? Excuse me what did you say ?” 

“ Let’s run away, Hyun. I can’t stay here anymore, I can’t do this. Let’s go. You in ?”

Taehyun went blank for a few seconds, blinking non stop, having a hard time understanding Beomgyu’s words when he just emerged from his sleep. Was he being serious ? Looking at how serious his expression was, yeah, he was dead serious. And now, Taehyun finally understood. His heart felt like it was being ripped, and he throat went dry. So, they were finally here huh ? They were finally coming to that time ? Already ? 

No need for him to think twice, he rushed in his room, took off his pajamas and quickly put on a large black hoodie and a cap, packing a few necessary things in his bag. Of course, he would follow him, wherever he wanted to go, or whatever he wanted to do, Taehyun would always be in, the older didn’t even need to ask. He took a look at his room, the messy bed sheets, his so well ordered desk in which he spent so much time struggling with his homeworks. He looked at his small TV and the two sofas that his mom installed for him and Beomgyu to play video games when they were 12, and he looked at the few photos of him and Gyu pinned next to his closet, feeling nostalgic about how easy things were when they were younger. He looked at his door, thinking about his mother and his little sister, and how sad they might be that he left without saying a word when they would wake up a few hours later. Taehyun was maybe seeing this room for the last time of his life, feeling a bit sad that things were happening that way. He took a deep breath, and finally, he jumped out of his window. 

“ So ? Where are we going ?” Taehyun asked, softly shaking his car keys in front of Beomgyu’s face. The boy’s eyes sparkled, and he smiled brightly, feeling relieved that his dream of leaving his house was coming true. 

“Anywhere with you is fine”. 

That was enough for Taehyun to blush, and feel embarrassed, secretly very satisfied by the black haired boy’s answer. The two of them quickly ran towards the car, giggling and laughing like two kids about to do something stupid, then threw their bags in the car trunk and finally get in, clipping their seatbelts, panting and excited. Taehyun started the car, and locked his eyes in Beomgyu’s waiting for his permission to leave the town, to run away, to escape their destiny. And when smiled, taehyun pressed the foot pedal. 

They were quietly driving for about an hour now, both of them not knowing how to deal with the painful topic first.  
Taehyun was randomly driving, not knowing where to go first, as their was so many places he wanted him and his soulmate to visit, so many places he wanted to show to Beomgyu. But, before heading to a fixed place, he needed to know. He was torturing himself since an hour now, sweaty and anxious about the answer he was probably not ready to hear. But he couldn’t stay ignorant any longer. 

“How long ?” he finally dared. 

Beomgyu flinched, leaving his gaze from the the window to lock it into Taehyun’s eyes once again, but for a very short time because the younger quickly had to focus on the road again. Beomgyu gulped. So there he was, announcing the one he loved when he will kill them both. How to tell him ? How to tell your most precious person that you and him are going to die in a few days only ? How to erase the guilt he was feeling deep inside since before they met ? Finally, he stopped thinking, and his brain and his mouth did something crazy, just deciding to get this shit out of his chest now. 

“Less than a month. Two weeks I think, maybe more, maybe less”. 

Taehyun calmly nodded, silently digesting the news for a few minutes, focusing on the road trying not to show how affected and weak he was after hearing that his soulmate was about to leave him so soon. Beomgyu was starting to feel so guilty and so hurt, immediately regretting what he just announced so randomly, thinking that he better shut his mouth and be more careful with words from now on, when finally, the boy answered in an almost inaudible whisper a simple “Okay”. How was he able to be so calm about it when Beomgyu just wanted to scream and to punch a wall ? Just how could he be always so nice to him ? He didn’t even deserved it in the first place. The two boys didn’t talk, hearts heavy, the silence saying more than any words they knew, each lost in their thoughts and their regrets. 

“ I’m sorry” Beomgyu broke the silence, feeling oppressed, a bit suffocating, trying to get off his chest this heavy feeling of guilt he was bearing with for so, so long. 

“Not now, please just.. not now”, was the only answer Taehyun was able to handle, not ready to have this conversation here, in this car, so late in the night. He just wanted to avoid the topic, scared to make Beomgyu feeling sadder and more scared than he already was. His head was full of random thoughts, where to go first ? What to do now ? What if they had less than two weeks ? Will Beomgyu’s heart be able to handle this improvised road trip ? When, finally he had an idea. 

“ Let’s make a bucket list” he said, now looking at the black haired boy. 

“A bucket list ?” he answered, now curious. 

“ Yeah, let’s do whatever you always wanted to do during our last two weeks. Just, write down whatever you want, and we’ll do it”. 

“ Anything ?” 

“ Yeah, anything”. 

Beomgyu ripped a piece of paper from a small notebook he found in Taehyun’s car, and furrowed his eyebrows. When he was locked inside his room, he always had so many things in mind, he always wanted to try so many things; but now that he finally allowed himself to do them, he couldn’t think of anything, his mind was a total blank. What should he start with ? Taehyun told him he could write anything right ? When his first idea popped up, another one followed, and another, and he quickly filled the small piece of paper he was holding.

“Are you done now ?” the red- haired boy asked, his eyes sparking when he saw the satisfied smiled Beomgyu had on his face when he filled the last blank space on his paper. He giggled and smiled brightly now, obviously excited and hurried to start, his excitement being contagious to Taehyun, who was smiling like an idiot too now. 

“ So, what did you write ?” he asked, hella curious about what the one he loved so much wanted to do for so long. 

“ I won’t tell you now, Hyun”, he smirked. 

“ Huh ?” 

“ I’ll tell you one thing every morning or every two days maybe. Or else it’s no fun” the older pouted. 

Taehyun smiled and shook his head, finding it cute how he was able to be so confident and playful in a desperate situation like theirs. 

“ Okay, I don’t have any objection”, Taehyun agreed. Beomgyu nodded, now smiling, satisfied at his soulmate’s answer. « Did you write crazy things in it ? I can feel it coming already ». 

« You know me way too well Mr Kang ». he smirked. 

« Aren’t I your soulmate Mr Choi ? I swear if you wrote things like shave your head or try to wear a dress I won’t follow ». 

« You just said I could write anything though ? Now be patient sir, I know you can’t wait but I promise that you’ll be satisfied soon enough ». 

« I’ll trust you on this, hyung. Now let’s stop somewhere near and get some sleep. You must be exhausted from… all this”. 

« Aren’t you tired from driving too ? » 

« I would drive all night if it was to run away with you, gyu ». 

Now blushing from his cheeks to the edge of his ears, the black haired boy smiled and whispered, now gazing at the road through the window « Yeah let’s stop somewhere ». And so did they, almost an hour later, crashing at the first motel they could find on the road, a bit shabby but it would do for the night. Taehyun went to use the shower first, and when he finally stepped out of the small and dark bathroom, Beomgyu was already asleep, only his head noticeable from under the thin blanket they would spend the night with. 

The boy was so tired that he fell asleep the moment he laid down on the bed, he didn’t even take the time to remove his clothes or just change into pajamas. Taehyun could only understand him though as it was already 5am and he endured the tiredness all day, he didn’t even sleep in the car while he was driving. When the red haired boy closed the curtains, the sun was about to rise, and he realized that they were already one day closer to their last day. He curled up under the blanket, sticking his body close to his soulmate’s as he always did, nuzzling his head in Beomgyu’s torso and wrapping his arms around his waist. Taehyun enjoyed Beomgyu’s body’s warmth the most and the familiar scent he loved so much. He closed his eyes, and just like that he fell asleep.

Taehyun woke up feeling the cold sheets against his skin, and patted next to him to make sure Beomgyu was still next to him. But the bed next to him was empty, and the room was dead silent. When he opened his eyes, he looked around the room and saw the vintage TV hanging on the wall, the old tapestry decorated with weird roses, his bags spreading on the floor and he felt a light but cold breeze on his skin. 

When he looked at the window, he saw that the curtains were open and that the window was half open too. Taehyun had this weird feeling that something was off, he just felt… really weird, when finally, he realized. He really was all alone in this shabby room. 

“ Gyu ?” he called, but only got the silence as an answer.

“ Beomgyu hyung ?”

He woke up in a hurry, feeling dizzy and his heart racing, he wouldn’t leave him just like that right ? He didn’t regret running away huh ? Beomgyu wouldn’t let him like that right it was impossible ? 

“ Beomgyu hyung ?” 

Taehyun ran towards the bathroom, hoping the boy would be showering or whatever, just hoping he would be here and smile at him like he always did. But he wasn’t. His shoes weren’t here either, and his bag was gone. What the fuck was happening now ? Where was he gone ? 

Taehyun looked at the small desk that was located near the door of the way too empty room and found a ripped piece of paper from the small notebook that he always kept in his car just in case. Was this the bucket list Beomgyu wrote the night before ? He took a look at it, and his heart almost stopped when he finally read the few words wrote in this messy handwriting he knew way too well. Taehyun never knew that three words could hurt him that much, he never expected him to feel so desperate and so broke after reading this fucking three words. I’m sorry. So it was supposed to happen like that ? He just… left without saying a word ? Leaving him behind like a good for nothing ? But why ? Taehyun felt the tears occuring in the corner of his eyes and his hands holding the piece of paper shaking, when out of nowhere, he felt a warm hand holding and squeezing his own really hard. When he tried to look who was there, he woke up with a jolt and opened his eyes. Beomgyu was there, standing above him, his hands firmly tied up in Taehyun’s, his eyes widening as he realized the red haired boy finally woke up. 

“ Hey, come back to me ? You finally awake ?” 

Taehyun locked his arms around his soulmate’s neck, and hold him tight, sighing in relief and delight. The boy froze up a little at the start, and finally responded to the warm embrace, giggling and laughing at this surprisingly cute morning attack. “ Were you having a nightmare ?” he asked, now parting reluctantly from one of the best hug in his life to look at Taehyun in the eyes. 

“ You were leaving me behind” he answered, now looking away, still a bit startled and saddened at the weird dream he just had. Beomgyu furrowed his eyebrows and  
softly grabbed Taehyun’s chin, forcing him to look at him in the eyes again, a very serious look on his face while he promised him:

“I will never. I’ll stay with you until I die, Hyun”. 

Taehyun felt his heart tightened and his cheeks burning at the black-haired boy’s words and nodded, feeling relieved even if he never really doubted him in the first place. “ So, what are we doing today ?” he asked, slightly changing topic to save him from embarrassing himself in front of the one he loved once again. Beomgyu’s eyes started to sparkle, a wide smile taking over his face, clearly excited at the thought of doing what he was prohibited to. 

“ I wanna go to an arcade”. 

“ You what ?” 

“ I wanna try playing video games in a dedicated place and try to win a plushie from one of these weird machines with you today. Is that better ? Come on Taehyun, I really wanna try going there.. ”

Taehyun smiled and slowly shook his head, surprised at the quite simple request Beomgyu just blurted out. He thought that the boy would start with something a bit crazier, but he found it cute in some way, and he was a bit relieved that he wanted to go in a closed space, so that they didn’t really risk anything dangerous for their lives. “ Okay, let’s go there”. 

They left the weird motel they stayed at and promised never to go there again after finding a cockroach proudly standing next to their bags in the room. They drove for almost two hours before finding a suitable place to eat breakfast and finally, a populated area where they could probably find an arcade. The black haired boy and Taehyun hung out in the streets, for a few hours first, the weather being very nice for their first day of freedom. They visited a few places, and went on a shopping spree to complete the lack of clothes they brought with them in the hurry. Beomgyu was excited, trying every hoodie or shirt he could find, sometimes creating outfits that didn’t even made sense.

He was having fun, and Taehyun was happy too, they felt.. normal. It was as if everything was fine, as if they were random teenagers with a normal life, hanging out and having fun as every student would do. They decided to buy a few matching outfits after Beomgyu said that he always wanted to try doing this with him before,making the younger blush and fall for him even more again. Taehyun found it cute how Beomgyu was amazed at every little thing that he saw or made him curious in the streets, and laughed at all the questions he continuously asked. The older had never been this curious before, and it really was endearing in some ways. 

“ We’re here”. 

Beomgyu was over excited, eyes sparkling, a wide and warm smile on his face, cutely jumping in excitement in front of the place. He entered the area first, looking everywhere, amazed at all the purple and blue neon lights, the vintage pinball machines, pool games, the sounds of the game machines playing and the people laughing and having fun.

He always wanted to go in there, playing with some friends, try some games and dances and just have fun like every normal person. They looked at each other, and left their bags, almost running to the car game, enthusiastic and excited, quickly sitting on a seat a starting a game. The music started, the purple lights of the room were reflecting on their skins and the two boys played for hours, Beomgyu frustrated to lose for the third time in a row, then moving to the next game, and cutely scream when he saw the plushies machines he always dreamt to try one day. 

“ It’s okay hyung, we already played a lot today” Taehyun comforted the older after he lost once again, pouting and crossing his arms like a child, unable to catch even  
one plushie from the cursed machines. “ Do you want me to try winning one for you ?” he asked, a bit sad to see the boy frustrated and deceived after the good day they spent together. He nodded, and they both stood close to each other in front of the grip, focusing after Taehyun entered the coin in the device. “ You still want the parrot one ?” the red haired boy asked, smiling at the pouty face Beomgyu still had.

“Yeah, it’s cutest one”. Taehyun focused back on the grip, slightly opening his mouth, trying to be as precise as possible and pressed the button. They held their breaths, looking at the grip holding the plushie, slowly progressing towards the hole, and flinched when it was about to drop the parrot, then finally jumped in joy and hugged each other when the plushie fell in the hole, and they finally won. 

“ How are you so good at this ? I tried for almost an hour and kept losing !” 

“ It’s called talent I think ?” he laughed, and gave the plushie to the now overjoyed boy. 

A few hours later, they were staying at a more suitable place than the day before, wearing matching pajamas and ready to go to sleep after Taehyun made sure that Beomgyu took his meds. Beomgyu was a bit down, after answering a text from his mother a few minutes ago, telling her not to worry about his health and his life anymore. It was hard for him because this message was like his goodbye text and it felt weird. He wasn’t mad at his mother anymore, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to see her again before leaving this world. He refused to stay locked in a room and keep his mind busy with negative feelings when he could just enjoy every day outside like he did today with Taehyun.

“ Did you have fun today hyung ?” Taehyun asked, aware that Beomgyu was a bit down and worried, trying to keep him busy with something else than worryness. 

“Yeah, a lot. It was really fun, thank you, hyun.” he answered, holding the plushie in his arms, on the verge of falling asleep. Beomgyu was tired from walking and playing  
all day as he wasn’t used to hang out that much, but he was relieved that his heart had been kinda lenient with him today. 

“ Are you going to hold that parrot instead of me tonight ?” Taehyun asked with a grin and a confident look, even if his red cheekies were betraying his shyness. 

“ Are you jealous maybe ?” Beomgyu answered, enjoying teasing the younger because he knew that his reactions were always cute when he was flustered. 

“ I- I’m not. You’re hot anyways”. 

“ Oh so I’m hot ? Well thank you I really appreciate the compliment” he grinned, now really amused at how the boy’s cheeks were turning almost as red as his hair color.

“ No, no I, I meant your body is too warm-”

“ Ok, ok come here” Beomgyu cut him off, and held the shy boy closer, adjusting his head to let it rest on Taehyun’s shoulder. “ I was kidding” he giggled. “But I’m  
definitely hot though” he added, before closing his eyes and fall into Morpheus's arms. 

The day after, the two boys went to the cinema following Beomgyu’s bucket list, the older enjoying watching a movie on such a big screen for the first time in his life while Taehyun just felt happy as long as his soulmate was. They watched movies all day, they went from animation to action, romance to drama, Comedy to Adventure and watched until their eyes couldn’t take any more image anymore.

Beomgyu wanted to try watching a horror movie on a big screen for their last one, as he was used to watch them on his computer at home, but Taehyun immediately turned him down, worried that his heart might not take the jump scares.They ate so much popcorn and snacks the whole day that they didn’t even need to eat dinner, so they decided to go on a night walk instead, enjoying the illuminated and animated streets, warmed up in their jackets and scarfs before going back to their hotel room. Beomgyu bought a vintage polaroid camera when they hung out in the morning, he always loved vintage things like vinyls, old cameras, typewriters and old movies or song, so when he saw the polaroid camera he felt the urge to buy it. He took the opportunity to take his first pictures with it that night, asking Taehyun to pose here and there, photographing whatever inspired him and things he just didn’t want to forget. 

“ Excuse me, can you take a picture of us together ?” Beomgyu randomly asked at what he assumed was a couple sitting on a bench next to the fountain he wanted to take a pic in front of. 

The two boys were holding hands, “probably soulmates” Beomgyu thought, and were now curiously looking at him and Taehyun, who was shyly standing next to him. Both of the two boys were so good looking that it was almost unreal, and Beomgyu couldn’t help but stare at the purple haired guy and the blonde guy in adoration, shocked at how powerful they looked together. How was it possible for two soulmates to be so made for each other ? he wondered.  
They didn’t seem to be that much older than him and Taehyun, so that was the reason as to why Beomgyu approached them first instead of some weird old guys in the street. The blonde guy nodded and smiled brightly, now coming closer to them, his tall boyfriend following him.

“ Yeah, how does it works ?” he asked, looking at the polaroid camera.

“ You just have to look in the small camera lens and then press that button right here. The pic will show right after”. 

After the blonde dude nodded and understood, Beomgyu held Taehyun’s hand and brought him in front of the illuminated fountain, now wrapping his arm around his shoulder and leaning his head against Taehyun’s. The younger was a bit uncomfortable to pose in front of strangers at first, but quickly relaxed and finally posed, raising his left hand in a cute peace sign. When the flash came out of the camera, the boys parted and went back at the pretty blonde guy who looked impressed at how the pic could directly come out of the camera.

“ Whoa, that’s a cool camera you have here dude” he complimented Beomgyu who was now very proud of his acquisition. “You two look cute together” he said, staring at the picture. “Bin, look I have a talent in photography I think” he added while showing the polaroid at the purple haired guy who made an iconic face, enough for the blonde guy to understand that he better give up on photography already . When Taehyun and Beomgyu looked at the picture, they both smiled warmly, satisfied at how one of the rare picture with both of them in it turned out. 

“ Do you want me to take a pic of you two ?” Beomgyu suggested to the blonde boy.

“ Really ? Soob, babe come take a picture with me !” the funny and excited guy told his probably boyfriend.

“ Oh it’s fine you really don’t have to !” the tallest one shyly declined. 

“ It’s fine, consider it as a thanks for the pic ! ”

“ Oh, well okay then ” he smiled at the younger. 

After taking a picture of the two hugging in front of the fountain, Beomgyu thanked them one last time before saying goodbye to the strange yet endearing boys they just met. 

“ Ah, it’s nothing it’s nothing ! See you, love birds ! ” they happily blurted out before leaving, giggling and teasing each other in the middle of street. Taehyun blushed, a bit embarrassed now.

Well, they were soulmates, it was a fact, but were they lovers ? Him and Beomgyu weren’t really boyfriends yet right ? It wasn’t as if one of them ever confessed to the other, or as if they ever kissed or something like… what boyfriends would do. They were definitely close and clingy as soulmates and they genuinely loved each other but why weren’t they official yet ? When would Taehyun be able to call Beomgyu his boyfriend ? Or giving him cute surnames just like the two strangers did a few minutes ago ? Not that he was the cheesy one, but he just wanted them to be… together. Like, official. A couple. 

Yet almost a week later, Taehyun still didn't make a move, trying hard to convince himself that their relationship was fine as it already was because they were going to die in a few days anyways. Taehyun wasn’t dumb, he noticed how Beomgyu’s heart was starting to get weaker and weaker as the days passed by even though he was taking his meds properly. 

The older made a crisis before going to sleep the night before, and Taehyun noticed how he started to walk a bit slower than usual when they were hanging out, having a hard time eating anything, panting after a minimal effort or how he was more and more exhausted after each day that they spent outside.  
Beomgyu needed to rest more, to sleep more, and to eat more, but the boy was stubborn and obstinate, he refused to waste a minute of the short period of time remaining for them to live. Taehyun couldn’t refuse him anything, moved and broken at how the one he loved was dying a bit more every day, so just like that, during these 7 days, he kept on filling Beom’s bucket list. The day after their movie marathon, Beomgyu asked his soulmate to go to an Amusement Park and obviously, Taehyun refused at first. Was he crazy ? How did he want to handle an attraction when his heart obviously couldn’t take it ?

But then he thought about the ferris wheel and how they could just walk around the park and maybe eat candy floss together just like he saw in some romantic movies a while ago and he changed his mind. It was a soft date in a very lively environment and they felt in their own little world, enjoying the nice weather and the laughs of all the kids and teenagers that were having fun in the background. Taehyun’s heart squeezed when his soulmate held his hand in the ferris wheel’s cab, amazed and a bit overwhelmed by how pretty the city’s view was. He kept on taking pictures and asking strangers to take the two of them together again, ‘for others to never forget how cute we looked together’ he said, making the younger flustered and not really helping him keeping his feelings hidden anymore. 

The day after, they went to a street concert, a small one though, for Beomgyu not to start a crisis in the middle of the crowd, but the sick boy felt overjoyed when the musicians allowed him to play a bit of guitar in front of the others.

He started to learn guitar when he was 7 and bored, dreaming about going in the outside world, and now here he was, playing a bit of this beautiful song he learnt so long ago in front of strangers who stopped in the street just to listen to him. The crowd applauded, and Taehyun felt this warm feeling deep in his heart, finding the one playing way prettier than the song itself, he was proud of the boy standing in front of him, standing in front of strangers recognizing one of his numerous talents. Once again, he fell in love with his soulmate. 

Taehyun brought the black haired boy to the Aquarium, finding it endearing how Beomgyu’s eyes sparkled at the immensity of the underwater world and how he lost himself in this magical place, pointing fingers at weird sea creatures with a wild smile on his face. “ How pretty ” he whispered, his gaze lost in the huge aquarium in front of him, the water light mirroring on his face. 

“ Yeah, very pretty ” Taehyun answered, his eyes locked not on the fishes but on the prettiest boy he ever met, on what was his whole world. A few days later, they also ate in a fancy restaurant, and they even spent a night at a campsite, holding each other close in the tent not to die from the freezing cold of March. They also cuddled in their hotel room for an entire day, Beomgyu’s heart suddenly deciding to be rebellious after a long time and the black haired boy in a huge need to rest. 

The next day, they walked around the city, enjoying the fresh air and the nice weather, warmed up in their fluffy jackets again. It was a bit cliché but they also bought a lock that they hung on this very famous soulmate bridge everyone kept talking about. The rumor had it said that when you and your soulmate hang a love lock with your names written in it at the same time, you find each other again in your next life. And so they did, cutely writing their names and closing the lock, their hands tied up in each other’s, hoping that maybe, in their next life they’ll be luckier and happier. A few hours later, they decided to go crazier. Unexpectedly this time, it was Taehyun who suddenly came up with this idea. 

“ What if we get a matching tattoo ? ” he blurted out when they passed through a tattoo shop, an excited glow in his cute round eyes. Beomgyu stopped in front of the store, and stared at him with a wide smile, surprised at his soulmate’s audacity and his sudden kooky idea, but as the red haired boy expected, he was the first one to enter the store. It was sudden, and they were quite in a rush, but they decided to get a really tiny heartbeat on their left wrist, because their heart were bonded with each other, because even if their heart were destined to die soon, they will keep pounding deep within their soul. Because these hearts were the story of their lives. They were quite surprised at how it wasn’t as painful as they expected it to be, and how cute the result was. Yeah, it was a bit cliché, but they didn’t give a fuck about that anymore, and yeah, they were a little short on money now, but they didn’t care either, deciding to live every day as their last, sleeping in their car if ever they couldn’t afford the hotel anymore, or ready to only eat bread if it was their last solution. 

The two fugitives went on a picnic the next day, in a supposed to be field of flower because there weren’t really any flowers on the winter season but they didn’t care, enjoying being all alone in this uge space. Taehyun made sure to avoid tomatoes in the sandwiches he prepared, and tried to cutely feed Beomgyu with strawberries just like he saw in these famous Manhwas, but it was quite difficult as the boy couldn’t eat anything, feeling nauseous and a bit sick. So he just leaned down on Taehyun’s lap as he was so used to through the years, and fell asleep for a while, feeling warm and comfortable in the place he loved the most in this world.  
Taehyun could feel it too, how his own heart started to act a bit weird, hurting from times to times, racing in unexpected moments and how he started to end up breathless after a minimal effort. He was starting to feel tired and weak, but he tried his best to focus on filling his soulmate’s bucket list instead of complaining when he wasn’t the one suffering the most anyways. 

The following day, Beomgyu wanted to dye his hair, inspired by the cute guy he saw a few days before, tired of the black strands he had since his birth. He went to the hairdresser, excited to try a new hair color, having a new face, being a new him. Taehyun was a bit dubious when he saw the boy he was so used to see with black hair going out of the hairdresser with hair as bright as the sun, but quickly got used to it, because he was the kind of person that looked good in everything you know, and to be honest he looked like a fallen angel with blonde hair.

Today, Beomgyu wanted to try riding a bike, but his body was weaker and weaker, and Taehyun was scared that his heart might not handle the effort, so he decided to try something crazier but less risky for their still pounding hearts. Beomgyu’s arms were currently locked around his waist, his body pressed against his back, holding him tighter than he ever did before, a bit anxious but still excited as always.

“ Are you ready ? ” the younger asked, his voice a bit masked by the helmet he was wearing. He felt his soulmate nodding in his back and finally, the red haired boy started the motorcycle. The wind was caressing their skins, the sound of the motor filling their ears as the boys were progressing in the streets of this cute city they crashed for more than a week already. Beomgyu held Taehyun tighter, a bit scared to fall of the motorbike and feeling grateful that the boy was doing everything he could for him, trying his best to find solutions and substitutes when the request of the bucket list was a bit too hard or risky for them. 

He held him tighter, moved by the view, and this feeling of freedom he felt deep within his heart while they were riding under the sun, he felt himself, he felt powerful, as if no one could ever stop him from living his life as he wanted to. They drove all day, wandering around different cities, places, streets, without even taking a break, enjoying this moment as if it was their last. 

Beomgyu was closing his eyes for a few seconds, when he felt Taehyun’s hand squeeze his own, still wrapped around the younger’s waist. When he opened his eyes to look again, his heart missed a beat. He felt this urge to cry, overwhelmed and stunned by the view his soulmate was offering to him at the end of this already magical day. The ocean was stretching endlessly, the white sand looking soft and fluffy, the orangey -pink sunset reflecting on the sparkly water, a small breeze caressing his skin on this late afternoon. It was beautiful. Breathtaking, unreal. Yeah, it was more than magical. He always loved the ocean and dreamt to go there once again in his life and here he was, his most precious person by his side, offering him what he always dreamt about. He already loved Taehyun a lot, but he loved him even more right now, wondering how it was possible to fall in love so hard with a person so many times. 

Probably a soulmate thing right ? 

Beomgyu laid his head on Taehyun’s back, holding him tight, trying to memorize and cherish every little thing, every color, every scenery he could see, a few tears rolling down his cheeks inside his helmet, wishing to never forget about this moment. Beomgyu was filled with love and gratefulness, feeling sorrowful, glad, and lucky at the same time until Taehyun finally slowed down and gently parked the motorbike along the seacoast. 

“ Hyun.. - ” Beomgyu started after taking his helmet off, having a hard time finding the words to describe how affected and grateful he was at the moment. 

“ Happy Birthday, hyung ” he answered, cheeks bright pink before Beomgyu could even finish his sentence, moved and a bit emotional too now.

The now 21 years old boy hugged his soulmate close and tight in his arms, resting his chin on his shoulder, gazing at the ocean waves crashing on the sand, whispering his most sincere “Thank you”. 

Beomgyu wished he knew how to say “I love you” properly at this moment, he wished he could stare at him and confess how much he loved and cared for him. He wished he could tell him how grateful he was for him to bring him at his dreaming place before his heart decide to rest forever. But even now, when his mouth slightly opened, his lips slowly parted, he couldn’t say anything, he couldn’t find the right words.

They went down to the beach, and the blonde boy took off his shoes, his toes slowly playing with the soft sand, a bit hesitant as it had been so long since he came here. They walked, hands tied up in each other’s, tiny tattoos facing the other until they found a great and empty spot to watch the sunset together. They sat down, a cold breeze turning their cheeks pink and Taehyun laid his head on Beomgyu’s shoulder, both gazing at the almost red sun setting down at the edge of the endless sea, the sound of the waves crashing against the sand as their only background. 

It was as if they were all alone in this vast and magical space.

Beomgyu wished the time could stop, he wished they could stay like this forever, alone and feeling small but powerful in front of the ocean’s and the world’s vastness. He wished his heart wasn’t beating and hurting so much right now, he wished he wasn't panting , he wished he was a normal and healthy 21 years old boy, watching the sunset with his soulmate.

But of course life didn’t offer him this chance, punishing the younger at the same time for something he never deserved. They talked for hours, remembering their first interactions and how awkward they were with each other at first; the nights they spent playing pacman and other old games on Taehyun’s Xbox, remembering the only year they spent together at school when everyone thought Beomgyu’s heart wasn’t risking anything anymore. 

They talked about how they gave each other the best years of their lives, about the few friends they made at school, they talked about their memories, their families, their insecurities and their concerns, they talked about how worried their parents might me, and about how crazy what they were doing was. They talked so much that the sky was dark now, stars lighting up the sky, and people went home, probably preparing dinner for their cute families and perfect childrens, about to go to bed and spend their tomorrow peacefully, just as they did the day before. They were quiet now, still sitting close to each other, lost in their thoughts, heavy hearts and regretful thoughts. Beomgyu suddenly felt a huge lump of remorse and guilt in his throat, and the urge to say the words he should’ve said since they met. These words were painful, and he knew they were probably going to hurt Taehyun, but he deeply needed to get this off his chest, because he wasn’t able to pronounce them on the day they left. 

“ I’m sorry hyun. I’m so sorry I am your soulmate” he confessed, unable to look at the younger in the eye, his gaze fixated on at the horizon. “ I’m so sorry, please forgive me ”. 

Taehyun’s eyes sparkled, and started to tear up hearing those painful words, realizing how deep and sincere they were. Was he regretting it ? Was he… scared ? Why did Taehyun felt like they were finally at the end of the long road they rode now ? How could he answer this without breaking down ? 

“ Don’t be. I’m not regretting anything”. He gulped, and kept going “ I’m glad you are my other half, Beomgyu hyung”. 

Now Beomgyu felt his heart squeeze and break into a thousand pieces, relieved at Taehyun’s reassuring words. He always chose the best words to ease the older’s mind. And he loved him for that. He loved him even more now, wondering how it was possible for a human being to be this…. perfect and wise, caring and loving. Yeah Taehyun was his perfect soulmate. The blonde boy buried the lump he had in his throat deep inside him and lifted his head up, amazed by the moon reflecting on the water, suddenly caught in a crazy impulse.

“ I want to swim ”. 

Beomgyu stood up and looked at the sea and the waves with a deep and bright light in his eyes that Taehyun never saw before. He now locked his gaze in the younger’s big and round eyes, repeating himself with this glow in his pupils that made Taehyun’s heart squeezed again. 

“ I want to go swim Hyun ”. 

“ You don’t know how to swim hyung-”

“ And so what ? ” he cut him off, as determined as ever.

“ It’s too cold for us to go swim, hyung. You’re going to catch a cold and-”

“ Come on hyun, let’s go ! ” the blonde boy took of his jacked, held his soulmate’s hand and ran straight to the water, the sound of his pounding heart echoing in his  
ears. 

The younger kept on telling him to wait, but he only smirked at him and finally, his clothes got soaked in the water. Beomgyu fell down, his head now under the freezing water, feeling strange as he was swimming for the first time of his life in the sea, and he was glad it was at night, under the stars, with the one he loved. When he finally came up to the surface, he laughed, seeing Taehyun soaked and cursing at how cold the water was. 

“ It really is salty ! ” Beomgyu laughed, sticking out his tongue while tasting the water. He had always heard people talking about how salty the ocean’s water was but he never really had the chance to try it until now. 

“ Of course it is, idiot ” Taehyun answered back at him, spraying him with water to get a revenge. Oh dear, how he was going to regret talking bad at him in a few seconds after Beomgyu jumped at him and made them fall into the water again.

They played like kids in the ocean, jumping at the waves, laughing and spraying each other with water, disappearing under the water to surprise the other and creating weird hairstyles with their hair wet for a long time, enjoying every second they spent together, only filled with pure happiness. 

“ Not like this, hyung. You have to kick your legs not your arms ”, Taehyun was trying to teach the boy how to swim.

Taehyun was holding the boy in the water, Beomgyu's legs wrapped against his waist now and his arms locked around his neck. Both of them were panting in happiness and excitement, their bodies pressed against each other, and their faces inches away from the other. They were here, staring intensely at each other in adoration, and in awe, the sound of the waves colliding against the sand as their only background, the moonlight as their only source of light in the cold night. Beautiful wasn't the exact word to describe how Beomgyu found Taehyun at this moment, he was insanely gorgeous, his so perfect and delicate features glowing in the dark, but what he found the most beautiful and attractive were his lips. He couldn't help but stare at them, having a hard time hiding the urge he felt to kiss them for the first time. 

They were so close to each other now, that Taehyun could feel Beomgyu's breath on his face, their noses and foreheads almost glued to each other. Taehyun was destabilized, overwhelmed by the happiness he felt, playing and holding beomgyu so close in the water like this, when the only thing he could think about was to kiss him.

"So, we completed everything now ?" he asked in a whisper, locking his almond shaped eyes in Beomgyu's, sparkling so much that he could almost see the stars in them. 

"There's, there's one more thing... I want to do" he whispered back, his cheeks starting to turn in a cute pink shade in the dark. Taehyun's eyes widened and his  
eyebrows furrowed, now curious about what Beomgyu still wanted them to do. He thought that they finally completed the bucket list when he brought him to the ocean because it was the last thing still not scratched on the paper when he woke up. 

"Oh ? So… what is it ?" he asked in awe, eyeing back his soulmate’s plump and red lips.

" I... don't know how to say it ", Beomgyu murmured, looking at the immensity of the ocean behind Taehyun. The full moon was reflecting on the sparkly water, the scenery breathtaking; He was scared to look at Taehyun in the eyes now, his face red from his cheeks to the edge of his ears, shy and nervous about those words he wrote a few hours ago on the famous piece of paper.

𝒯𝑒𝓁𝓁 𝒯𝒶𝑒𝒽𝓎𝓊𝓃 𝐼 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝒽𝒾𝓂.

Taehyun softly grabbed Beomgyu's chin, and forced the now blonde hair boy to lock his gaze in his own, eyeing Beomgyu's lips with envy, almost as if he wanted to devour them. 

" Then you can tell me without using words". 

" I'm.... scared " Beomgyu whispered, his voice trembling and his breath stuck in his throat, cheeks hot and his heart pounding so fast that he was pretty sure Taehyun could hear it judging by how close their bodies were. 

" Don"t be " was the words his soulmate pronounced, in an almost inaudible whisper, before Beomgyu's heart almost exploded. Their eyes were fixated on each other, when Beomgyu’s gaze went down on Taehyun's lips, the ones he wanted to kiss since so long now, his own lips only inches away from the younger's. Beomgyu's brain stopped functioning, unable to think when the prettiest boy on earth was so close to him and looking at him like he was the most beautiful and precious thing he ever met, and for the first time in his life, he decided to listen to his heart.

He slowly closed the distance between their faces, breath shaking, and leaned in, his lips stopping only a centimeter away from Taehyun's. He could feel his breath on his skin, the sound of his and taehyun's pounding hearts so fast and so loud that it was almost painful, unable to go further. He was scared no, he was terrified. They stayed like this for a few seconds, so close to each other, both scared to finally cross the line, when finally, Taehyun closed his eyes and leaned in, the desire taking over his thoughts. He closed the remaining centimeters that were blocking him and finally pressed his lips against his soulmate’s. It was as if fireworks were bursting inside his chest from the touch of his lips on Beomgyu’s, as if he was levitating off the ground and floating in the air.  
When their lips met, Beomgyu’s heart exploded into a thousand pieces, his mind going blank while he lost himself in a slow and deep kiss that made his heart squeeze and ache. 

Nothing had ever felt so right but to kiss his soulmate, as if their lips were made for each other, following each movement of the kiss perfectly, the softness of Taehyun’s lips driving him crazy. Taehyun grabbed Beomgyu’s waist and held him closer, his fingers laying down his back, savoring this feeling of warmth as their bodies were pressed against each other while Beomgyu’s fingers were wandering around the boy’s red strands, unable to think. Beomgyu decided after 21 years to finally trust his heart, to finally listen to it, to finally agree with it and let it take the lead, and he was so glad he made the right choice. Kissing Taehyun felt like an electric shock, the pain he was feeling sorrowful yet beautiful, it was the first time of his life he enjoyed suffering this way. They kissed deeply until the air left their lungs, unable to pull away as they waited for so long to lastly own each other. When they parted, they ended up staring at each other, soaked and in awe, just to lean forward again, craving for the other’s lips and the heat of their mouths. Beomgyu couldn’t breathe anymore, his heart hurting as it never hurt before, on the verge of losing his mind. 

“ I love you ” he confessed in a whisper between two kisses, and slowly pulled away, panting and holding his chest, the cold water dripping down from his clothes, trying to calm down his malfunctioning heart. Why was it suddenly so painful ? Why wasn’t the air entering his lungs anymore ? Why ? Why ?  
“ I love you too, gyu. I love you so much it’s crazy, you’re driving me insane. ” Taehyun murmured, burying his head on Beomgyu’s neck.  
Hearing these words directly from his soulmate’s mouth hurt him even more. It hurted, it was so painful that he couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down his face, trying hard to breathe and inhale properly in his lover’s arms, holding him as if it was the last time he had the chance to. The pain was different from usual, it was deeper, it was as if his heart was about to get ripped and shattered in pieces. Why was it happening now from all times ? When they were finally belonging to each other ? So they wouldn’t have time to enjoy life as lovers now ? Maybe they were too slow, maybe they were too late. 

“ Beomgyu hyung ? ” Taehyun’s eyes widened, realizing that something was off, feeling his heart missing a beat too. 

What was happening ? 

Beomgyu held him and grabbed him so hard and so tight that it was painful, Taehyun on the verge of falling in the freezing water again while holding him in his arms. Beomgyu couldn’t breathe. At all. The oxygen wouldn’t enter his lungs anymore and he felt like he was about to lose it, feeling very weak and fragile. He felt his strength leaving his body, his nails were stuck on Taehyun’s skin, his head resting on his shoulder and his eyes closed. His body was suddenly heavy in Taehyun’s arms and the teenager panicked.

Taehyun felt this terrifying feeling, this scary chill going deep down his spine and he held his breath, trying hard and quick to find a way to think. He’d always been a smart kid, but now he was standing there, in the middle of the sea, his soulmate almost dying in his arms, unable to react, unable to think straight.  
He was acting like a robot, as if he wasn’t controlling his body anymore.

Everything happened too fast, he hurried to get off the ocean, trying to stay up at the heavy and strong waves that were trying to bring them down, screaming at Beomgyu to hold on a bit longer. He screamed, sobbed, he asked him softly, he whispered to him to finally scream again, completely lost, begging him to hold on and not to give up now. 

Beomgyu’s body was cold, almost frozen, his lips turning in a weird color mixed between blue and purple from the cold and the lack of oxygen in his lungs; and his face had never been so pale and inexpressive before. “ Please stay a little longer hyung ” his voice broke, panting and exhausted while placing him on the sand, his hands shaking, his breath stuck in his throat. When Taehyun felt it too, his heart cracking in his chest, his thoughts going dizzy, his vision going blurry.

“ Don’t you dare give up now ! You hear me ? This is not over ! I can’t be over now ! ” He tried to hang on, he tried to wake Beomgyu up with the few percents of strength that remained in his body. “ Please don’t give up on me ”, he sobbed and grabbed his cold hand, his voice slowly disappearing in a whisper, the crashing waves taking over his shaky voice in the obscure night. 

“ I love you, do you hear me ? Fight dammit ! Please stay a little longer, wake up ! Please wake up, I love you ”. 

Taehyun laid down next to him now, holding him close, trying his best to tighten his embrace for the world not to take them away. 

Beomgyu felt weird and heavy, he tried to move his hand, he tried to open his eyes, but his body refused to listen. He felt a few heartbeat pounding hard in his head, having the impression of hearing someone calling his name from afar. He wanted to run towards this voice, and to reach out to it, he wanted to escape this weird and dark place he was in now. But the voice was so far that he couldn't reach it. He tried to run, to hold the hand reaching out to him, but it kept on moving away too fast.  
Now he couldn't hear anything but his heart pounding slower and slower in his head and his chest, he couldn't feel anything but this huge pain in his lungs, the few strength that was remaining in his muscles disappearing, unable to even feel the heat or the cold, unable to feel anything anymore. 

He couldn’t even feel his soulmate’s hand tied up in his own. Everything was really fuzzy, his mind, his thoughts, his body and his muscles and he felt tired. Really tired. He felt the tiredness he gathered through all this years hit him now, his closed eyes burning and finding himself in the urge to sleep. Yeah, Beomgyu needed to rest now. He wasn’t strong enough to endure this illness anymore, he exhausted himself in this wild and crazy adventure with his soulmate for his last two weeks, and he couldn’t wish for a better death that this one. God he was so tired. He tried to venture himself in his thoughts and his memories, fighting and trying to hold on from his sleepy mind, trying to remember his soulmate’s pretty face and the few words they confessed to each other for what seemed to be years ago when it was only a few minutes now. This time again, he felt guilty and sad. He couldn’t even remember why he was feeling so sad, why he was so heartbroken and melancholic thinking about that person. He just felt a warm and delicate feeling wrapping down his heart one last time; and just like that, he exhaled for the last time, allowing his body and his heart to finally go, to finally pause, and to finally take the rest he deserved. 

Just like this, hands tied up in each other’s, hearts full but shattered, laying down in front of the wild ocean and its vastness, under the bright moonlight and the stars, they left. They left without the opportunity to say goodbye to each other or to say goodbye to their families. They left unable to express and show the other how much they loved and cared for each other. They left too young, too soon, too abruptly. And just like Beomgyu’s mom told him on his 8th birthday, the world they lived in was sweet and beautiful, but they realized now how cruel and brutal it also was. 

Everything used to be so sweet and colorful around the other, yet now their souls were sinking and falling deep down into shades and darkness. 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sanho was looking through the window, his chin resting on his hand, his favorite group playing on his earphones, and his backpack laying on his lap; lost deep within his thoughts. His weird birthmark was showing and he knew that his classmates were probably starring, but he didn’t give a fuck about them and their annoying superior looks. The sun was slowly setting down as the bus was progressing towards their high school summer camp’s destination and the silver haired boy tried to memorize every single detail of this orange- almost red summer sunset. He didn’t really know why he was so obsessed with these, feeling sad and beautifully melancholic each time his eyes lost themselves in the scenery. It was his favorite moment of the day.

When he got off the bus and picked up his things, he rushed straight to his hotel room and almost threw his luggage on the bed, eager to finally inhale and exhale the very special and fresh air of the seacoast.

He went down to get the teacher’s instructions and as always he had to return before 11pm and respect the delimited area for students to hang out. He heard the classmates he hated so much talking and getting excited about finally going to this famous soulmate’s beach where the rumor said that two soulmates died almost a thousand years ago now. Sanho was shaking his head and putting his earphones on again, thinking shit about this weird story they heard a hundred times already. They were living in a different world now, in which soulmates weren’t a thing anymore after this famous and tragic story of one soulmate killing the other because of a heart disease.

Well, soulmates still existed and they always found the other no matter what at the end of the story, but their hearts weren’t bonded in a way that implied death anymore. One could live without the other. It was quite difficult and harder thought. 

Sanho knew it very well because he lost his dad three years ago in a car accident and the boy noticed how his mom seemed to live in a world made of black and white since then. He noticed how she rarely smiled now, and how she always seemed lost, looking for something that didn’t exist anymore. Life wasn’t impossible, it wasn’t worse than death, but it was sad, morose and tasteless. Sanho threw these thoughts away, a curious and excited glow appearing in his eyes at the idea of visiting this well known beach even if he never really believed in this story anyways. 

Once again, he didn’t know why his heart was racing so much while he was admiring the waves crashing down the sand in the hot night, the stars shining so much that he could spot every constellation he knew in the sky. He felt relaxed at the sound of the waves and the wind caressing his ears, yet Sanho didn’t know why he was feeling so gloomy and pensive when he should feel amazed and in awe in front of such a scenery.

Sanho always enjoyed loneliness. He was considered as weird and socially awkward by the other teenagers the same age as him, but he only felt the best when he was alone with his thoughts. He felt attracted to a quiet and retired sand dune near him and sat there for a while, gazing and the immensity of this stretch of water. He drew a bit on his sketchbook, inspired and a bit overwhelmed by the incredible sight he had in front of him. He hated school, disliked his dumb classmates but he was glad deep inside that his mom forced him to go on this trip. He walked for a bit after this, along the water, dipping his feet in the not so cold ocean until he felt attracted something again. 

Something near him. Too close to him. He looked everywhere, his cheeks turning red, and felt his heart pounding in his... birthmark. What the hell was that ? It was different from his own heartbeat. It…. wasn’t his ? How was this sorcery even possible ? What the fuck was going on ? He held his wrist and looked behind him, looked at his left then turning to his right, furrowing his eyebrows trying to notice if someone or something was close to him in the dark. When he saw. 

He was standing there, holding his left wrist too, legs half dipped in the water, his intense gaze now locked into Sanho’s eyes. The boy seemed to be the same age as him, a bit taller than him and brown haired, but Sanho was 99% sure he wasn’t one of his classmate.They looked at each other for a few seconds, panting and holding their wrists, when finally, Sanho took the first step and walked in the water, going closer to the stranger, almost losing control over his body now.

He stopped a few centimeters away, held the boy’s wrist in his hand without thinking, bringing their exact same birthmarks next to each other, mouth slightly opened and breath stuck in his throat while it seemed that Sanho’s world was falling down. They were eyeing each other now, trying to understand what was happening, when finally, the boy interlocked their fingers together and said in an almost inaudible whisper.

“ I’ve finally found you ”.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi ! 
> 
> This is my very first one shot, and I really genuinely hope you liked it. 
> 
> I'm sorry for the damages !!
> 
> If you wanna say something or if you have some questions, please feel free to share or to ask, I'll be happy to answer :) 
> 
> Clem


End file.
